Thursday, October 16, 2008

shoulda woulda coulda redux

Three years ago, this threw me off whatever high horse I was riding then. The resulting verbal diarrhea had my colleagues saying that I am human after all. Duh. Of course I am. And of course I understood even then that maybe because that was one of the rare occasions I showed something that resembled raw emotion. *shrugs* I've never been in love, and that was the closest thing but I did nothing. Expressing emotions has never been my thing.

But introspection, coupled with certain recent events (and activities) challenged that comfort zone. So I just did it, despite the hesitations. Better late than never, right? And I need to get that thing -- that selfish hurt -- off my chest. Baka kaya di ako nagkaka-boypren kasi forever feeling mare-reject. HAHAHAHA! Hmph.

What's that fracking mantra again? "Can't lose what you never had." I better suck it up and see if that mantra is true.

Well it was true after all. I didn't lose anything. I actually gained something(s). A reply. An acceptance. A lesson. A warm fuzzy feeling. Like being hugged.

You made me smile too. :) So, like I said, thanks.

No comments: