the vision of love redux

CAUTION: Extreme Fangirling Ahead.

(Because seriously, who wouldn't with that amazing picture?)

just dance

I'm not much into the whole club scene. That, and my lack of volleyball skills, are the ones I apparently didn't get in the rainbow gene pool.

Marco dragged me to O Bar in Ortigas last week. That'll make my fourth trip to such a thumpa thumpa place in my lifetime--my second in this particular establishment (I'm not counting the one in Sydney, because frankly, that was just a gin joint at 9PM). I didn't want to go at first. Good thing our previous engagement ended at 12:30AM, so the timing's just right for us to walk towards the venue. And even then the bar didn't fill up with people until I decided to go home at past two.

I love dancing. I love it even if I don't necessarily have the rhythm or grace to be particularly good at it. So I kinda find it weird that I don't like clubbing that much. Maybe it's the cigarette smoke, and that such a crowded place rings my internal FIRE HAZARD! bells. I have no complaints about the music (they played Adele remixes!) and the go-go boys though. :-) Well, the go-go boys could use a little less clothing.

Is it because of the expectations and pre-conceived notions I've set in such an environment? I have been told, after all, that bars are a good place for hook-ups. And it's true... for some people. Me, not so much. I've had more luck in bathhouses without me really trying. :-P LOL. And therein lies the problem.

Sure, on the one hand, I should begin with the end in mind. On the other hand, though, I should be ready to play the "game". The meaningful three-second eye contacts. The subtle shimmy-shimmy and close dance grinding. The wingman technique (to Marco's credit, he offered to be my pimp that night). And I'm not good at those. Is it because of the subtleties? After all, darkrooms are more conducive for relentless ass-/crotch-grabbing than in a dance bar where almost everyone is fully clothed, the lights are brighter, and the possibilty of being gutted with a broken beer bottle is much higher. One has to be... discreet. Goodness knows I'm anything but.

So yeah, the problem lies in me setting conflicting and confusing expectations. Bathhouses pretty much sets the goal for you. Dance bars, not so much. And if I'm not comfortable to set the goal of sexing everyone up to the tune of the latest Rihanna song then I guess I just have to set a new one--the one I should have set a long time ago: to just frakking dance and have fun.

Duh.

Hey, they say good things come when you least expect it. *fingers crossed*

(Side note: according to Marco, there were some guys shooting looks at my direction. And of course, the naive me missed said stares. Ugh. Ah well, next time.)

I do need to find some club buddies if ever I'm gonna embrace this clubbing thing (and honestly, I'm still wishy-washy about it; the idea of curfew was instilled to me so deeply I still get nervous of doing anything outside past midnight). Evidently, dancing alone makes one look like a sad loser.

the vision of love

So the title for this entry should not be surprising, as I have been stanning over "The Vision of Love", the new single by pocket idol Kris Allen since a remix of the then-rumored first single got leaked in the Internets. (Gotta love 'em Krinjas and their super-sleuthing skills; also to love: Kris as a possible #nuqueen of the dancefloor. :-P)

Anyway, so the song (not to be confused with the "Vision of Love" by Mariah, who I also adore) will indeed be Kris's lead single for his upcoming, still-untitled sophomore album. Yay!

(Of course, part of the paranoid, doom-and-gloom stan in me is kinda wringing his hands with worry too. The album release date is still TBD after all. Then again, back in 2009 a Krisbert's wish is for him to just be successful enough to do album #2. And from the looks of how things are moving along--music video just wrapped, a Wal-mart exclusive physical single coming out this Monday, possible site re-design--I hope he sells millions and win awards and come back to Manila so I can stalk him again.)

/tarding over

But seriously, the song is pretty catchy. It's kinda late with the #ItGetsBetter theme (see: "Firework", "F*ckin' Perfect", etc.), but gosh, holy falsetto Batman:

* * *

Speaking of visions of love, several weeks ago I was bombarded with news of people being "happily in love" and/or getting hitched: the colleague, the Yankee, and the Hobbit to (code-)name a few. Heck, I even paused the new Kris song stuck on repeat in my iTunes playlist and cranked Adele's "Someone Like You" full blast (in my earphones anyway) as dedication to last one. HAHAHA! (affected much?) Ah well... good times. BRB ogling the honeymoon pictures.

It was a good thing McVie posted this status message:

Time and again I hear of guys who fall for another guy but keep their feelings to themselves. Then they bemoan the fact that their object of affection doesn’t see them the way they do. But they justify loving from afar even if they get hurt, because they say to love is to risk. 

Well! I say to love is to risk, so tell him how you feel. The sooner you do that the better, while you still haven’t emotionally invested a lot on him. Keeping your feelings to yourself isn’t love; it’s selfishness and stupidity. 

If he doesn’t share the same feelings, move on. If he doesn’t reciprocate, move on. Martyrdom for unrequited love was burned at the stake a long time ago.

My 20-year-old self just got his ass whipped big time. Good thing I got older and (hopefully) wiser.

Then again, even wise men do stupid things sometimes. Oh hello there, annual fling.

till the world ends (aka how i roll, part 2)

Last July I wrote a sort-of a half-year review on how things were going along in my life. I was re-reading it earlier while I was trying to come up with the usual year-end musings (my Twitter feed and Facebook wall are littered with these since yesterday). Boy, how time flies. And how things change so fast.

Despite the birthing pains I've experienced earlier this year working on new tasks at work, I'd like to believe that I (and the team) overcame those. Passed with flying colors, if I say so myself. Sure, there are still kinks in the processes, but hey, when you get the chance to shoot a video starring your CTO, or hear him pimping some of the team's handiwork in a huge gathering of engineers more technical than us, it's a huge validation that we're doing something right.

(Otherwise, I won't be stressing on a deliverable due a week after the holiday break, with only four days to work on it. Let alone a job, given the recent re-org.)

The dating department was pretty much status quo for the rest of 2011. My musings in a previous post pretty much sums it up. I'd like to reiterate the silver lining though: this department did drastically improve this year. I must be doing something right. Or I just look good in my profile pic.

I managed to lose 3lbs. around September when my friends and I (re)started the Insanity workout (among other video exercise routines) at, well, work. Of course, I regained those pounds (plus four more during this holiday break) when the excitement fizzled out.

A couple of weeks ago I resolved (via a Tweet, not really the most profound venue) to invest on my body more and be the Mr. Right. I think I mentioned something similar before -- that I have take care of my health first in order to have a healthy dating life. Okay, so for the first half of the year, dare I challenge myself to lose 15lbs? Based on that 3lbs, with the right motivation apparently I can do it.

The same thing can be said with my writing. Hello, I managed to churn out about 12,000 words during that 30-day writing challenge Macky, Tin, and I challenged ourselves to do (these are the same girls who also took the Insanity workout challenge with me BTW. Haha!). That's like three chapters of a book! I just have to write 18 more chapters then revise like hell. If Samantha Sotto can finish a book in a school year and get published internationally... what's my excuse again?

I also finally got myself a car. Well what do you know, I can drive after all. :-) And with the adventures that I've had in the last two months because of it -- I realized I have strong affinity with potholes and gutters -- I'm sure next year will be quite as fun. I promise to be a better defensive driver though.

With all these, plus some great concerts (The Script! Kylie! Westlife! I attended about five this year -- the most I had in a year), and trips here and abroad, and other life events, 2011 has been pretty great to me (thank you universe!). Definitely topped the previous two years. I hope next year is going to be better still. Given the progression of awesomeness since "I'm-so-over" 2009, it better be.

my christmas wish list 2011

Here's my list last year:

1. Boyfriend? HAHAHAHAHA! Here we go again...
2. My own car
3. A savings account with at least six figures in it (Kelangan na talagang mag-ipon! Or mag-asawa ng mayaman!)
4. Trip: out of country conferences, off-site work, or (and especially) leisurely vacations
5. Backstage passes and/or meet and greet opportunities to my favorite acts (I hope Kris Allen comes back again)
6. 1TB External HDD. Heck, maybe I should set up my own server.
7. A pair of brown loafers. Yes, I still haven't gotten myself a pair of those. Or a pair of TOMS shoes.
8. Kick-ass earphones or headphones. Yung parang pang-DJ.
9. Kris Allen album #2.
10. Health, wealth, and prosperity for my family and to all of us (naks!).

Hm. Not below average results for this year. Of course, the car is a big chunk off my budget (yes, the trend of me buying some of these myself continues). So it looks like I'll just repeat my list for next year. Hehe!

Here's my list this year:

1. Boyfriend? HAHAHAHAHA! (Oh boy...)
2. PSP Vita. Or a new high-end, non-work-issued laptop so I can play Sims 3. :-P
3. A savings account with at least six figures in it (Kelangan na talagang mag-ipon! Or mag-asawa ng mayaman!)
4. Trip: out of country conferences, off-site work, or (and especially) leisurely vacations
5. Backstage passes and/or meet and greet opportunities to my favorite acts (I hope Kris Allen comes back again... meanwhile, given that Blue and Jeff Timmons of 98 Degrees are coming early next year, I hope I can get pictures with them again.)
6. 1TB External HDD. Heck, maybe I should set up my own server.
7. A pair of brown loafers. Yes, I still haven't gotten myself a pair of those. Or a pair of TOMS shoes.
8. Kick-ass earphones or headphones. Yung parang pang-DJ. Dare I say Beatz by Dr. Dre?
9. Kris Allen album #2. Rumor has it that this will happen in Q1! :-)
10. Health, wealth, and prosperity for my family and to all of us (naks!).