till the world ends (aka how i roll, part 2)

Last July I wrote a sort-of a half-year review on how things were going along in my life. I was re-reading it earlier while I was trying to come up with the usual year-end musings (my Twitter feed and Facebook wall are littered with these since yesterday). Boy, how time flies. And how things change so fast.

Despite the birthing pains I've experienced earlier this year working on new tasks at work, I'd like to believe that I (and the team) overcame those. Passed with flying colors, if I say so myself. Sure, there are still kinks in the processes, but hey, when you get the chance to shoot a video starring your CTO, or hear him pimping some of the team's handiwork in a huge gathering of engineers more technical than us, it's a huge validation that we're doing something right.

(Otherwise, I won't be stressing on a deliverable due a week after the holiday break, with only four days to work on it. Let alone a job, given the recent re-org.)

The dating department was pretty much status quo for the rest of 2011. My musings in a previous post pretty much sums it up. I'd like to reiterate the silver lining though: this department did drastically improve this year. I must be doing something right. Or I just look good in my profile pic.

I managed to lose 3lbs. around September when my friends and I (re)started the Insanity workout (among other video exercise routines) at, well, work. Of course, I regained those pounds (plus four more during this holiday break) when the excitement fizzled out.

A couple of weeks ago I resolved (via a Tweet, not really the most profound venue) to invest on my body more and be the Mr. Right. I think I mentioned something similar before -- that I have take care of my health first in order to have a healthy dating life. Okay, so for the first half of the year, dare I challenge myself to lose 15lbs? Based on that 3lbs, with the right motivation apparently I can do it.

The same thing can be said with my writing. Hello, I managed to churn out about 12,000 words during that 30-day writing challenge Macky, Tin, and I challenged ourselves to do (these are the same girls who also took the Insanity workout challenge with me BTW. Haha!). That's like three chapters of a book! I just have to write 18 more chapters then revise like hell. If Samantha Sotto can finish a book in a school year and get published internationally... what's my excuse again?

I also finally got myself a car. Well what do you know, I can drive after all. :-) And with the adventures that I've had in the last two months because of it -- I realized I have strong affinity with potholes and gutters -- I'm sure next year will be quite as fun. I promise to be a better defensive driver though.

With all these, plus some great concerts (The Script! Kylie! Westlife! I attended about five this year -- the most I had in a year), and trips here and abroad, and other life events, 2011 has been pretty great to me (thank you universe!). Definitely topped the previous two years. I hope next year is going to be better still. Given the progression of awesomeness since "I'm-so-over" 2009, it better be.

my christmas wish list 2011

Here's my list last year:

1. Boyfriend? HAHAHAHAHA! Here we go again...
2. My own car
3. A savings account with at least six figures in it (Kelangan na talagang mag-ipon! Or mag-asawa ng mayaman!)
4. Trip: out of country conferences, off-site work, or (and especially) leisurely vacations
5. Backstage passes and/or meet and greet opportunities to my favorite acts (I hope Kris Allen comes back again)
6. 1TB External HDD. Heck, maybe I should set up my own server.
7. A pair of brown loafers. Yes, I still haven't gotten myself a pair of those. Or a pair of TOMS shoes.
8. Kick-ass earphones or headphones. Yung parang pang-DJ.
9. Kris Allen album #2.
10. Health, wealth, and prosperity for my family and to all of us (naks!).

Hm. Not below average results for this year. Of course, the car is a big chunk off my budget (yes, the trend of me buying some of these myself continues). So it looks like I'll just repeat my list for next year. Hehe!

Here's my list this year:

1. Boyfriend? HAHAHAHAHA! (Oh boy...)
2. PSP Vita. Or a new high-end, non-work-issued laptop so I can play Sims 3. :-P
3. A savings account with at least six figures in it (Kelangan na talagang mag-ipon! Or mag-asawa ng mayaman!)
4. Trip: out of country conferences, off-site work, or (and especially) leisurely vacations
5. Backstage passes and/or meet and greet opportunities to my favorite acts (I hope Kris Allen comes back again... meanwhile, given that Blue and Jeff Timmons of 98 Degrees are coming early next year, I hope I can get pictures with them again.)
6. 1TB External HDD. Heck, maybe I should set up my own server.
7. A pair of brown loafers. Yes, I still haven't gotten myself a pair of those. Or a pair of TOMS shoes.
8. Kick-ass earphones or headphones. Yung parang pang-DJ. Dare I say Beatz by Dr. Dre?
9. Kris Allen album #2. Rumor has it that this will happen in Q1! :-)
10. Health, wealth, and prosperity for my family and to all of us (naks!).

love isn't easy (but it sure is hard enough)

"Let's do this again sometime."

Those will be the last words that I will hear from Ram. Then JM. We met, shook hands, had coffee. Conversation was good enough. After an hour or two we part ways. We shook hands again, promising to keep in touch.

Then after a couple of text messages, communication fizzles out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I've had these couple of dates coffee meet-ups -- I've broken my record number of zero a year, not counting the "annual thing." Also not counted are the "it's-a-no-for-now," and the flirty exchanges between myself and some users of that iPhone application, all of whom expressed interest of meeting/hooking up "sometime". Obviously, as of this writing, no concrete date and time has been set (there were some cancellations, but I can take the blame for those).

"Ang choosy mo kasi." This is what my friends always say. Before I would've agreed to this statement wholeheartedly. After all, as someone who watches and analyzes porn for no good reason, the standards will be set high, even unconsciously (see: the 21 things post, which apparently is still getting traffic, but that's because of the picture). But someone told me that I should have at most three non-negotiable traits when looking for a partner. Apparently good things come in threes, and it is said that when things get tough between  you and your partner, you have to remind yourself of these three things that made you fall in love with him/her to begin with.

So from 21, I tried summarizing them to the following (and one addendum):

• Is more butch than me (this is supposed to be easy, given that I am supposed to be the baseline of nelly queen-ness)
• Can stand on his two own feet
• Kaya akong sakyan

I think the problem lies in the third one. Sure, I think part of the problem may still have something to do with the nelly-ness (goodness knows how I beat that dead horse a couple of years ago -- I ended up being featured in a popular blog because of that). But if recent experiences tell me something, it's this: either they don't know what they're gonna ride, or they've seen all of it and they don't like it.

Yes, apparently either I have too many barriers, or I am a walking TMI. Or maybe the TMI-ness is the defense mechanism? Perhaps I don't follow through enough, or I'm not assertive enough to make the first move or send the text message the morning after. But should I exert effort if I don't feel... something? Am I too quick to bucket someone into a non-feeling after just one date and a couple of exhanges of sweet nothings to begin with?

One of my greatest fears is that I will never fall in love. Some say you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. I think I love myself enough -- sometimes a bit much. And I have friends who love me in return.

But come to think of it, some of my crushes end up being my friends. I think that will be my second greatest fear: everyone will love me as a brother.

Happy Hallow-queen.

(drive me) crazy

Remember about two years ago when I said I would never use Twitter because one can do micro-blogging in an actual blog platform anyway? Look how that turned out. After driving the recently acquired car for more than a week, I may have to eat my previous position about driving. I know it's too early to tell but consider the said position already in my mouth, ready to be chewed and swallowed.

First a quick recap of what happened to me on the road so far:

• Took a refresher course two weeks ago at one of those professional driving schools. They pretty much confirmed what my brother-in-law implied about my lack of road rules (um... duh, that's why I enrolled for the class to begin with). Spent five hours driving on a highway, tunnel, flyover, and up and down Antipolo. I have the tendency to swerve my steering wheel instead of slowing down and stepping on the brakes when I try to avoid collision course, which I realized is kinda like how I walk: I strut, then I overtake the the slow gossipy ones who occupy the entire sidewalk. Note to self: remind yourself that driving a car is already faster than your usual pace, and the roads are wider... most of the time.
  
• Took the car to the office for the first time the following Tuesday. Mother had one of her former drivers accompany me on the way. He had no comments, apart from the usual stuff like I should make sure I check the side mirrors and stuff. He's supposed to pick me up and accompany me on the way home too but something apparently came up that I ended up driving alone for the first time. At night. Along roads that merge to one lane every 500 meters because of pipe-laying stuff.
  
• The following day, said driver became really chatty, especially on the way home from work. It was raining and we tried a different route that involved narrow streets. He had more comments that was almost distracting (but definitely annoying). I realized I liked driving barefoot--at least for now. I can manage the pads (pedals?) better.
  
• Drove all by myself last Friday (with music!). Took the alternative routes again, which resulted in two major boo-boos: 1) I didn't slow down on time that I almost crashed into a tricycle that suddenly stopped for alighting passengers--to the point that the guy behind the driver actually lifted his legs because I was that near; 2) actually crashed (well, sideswiped) a parked scooter. In my defense, there was sudden oncoming traffic from the opposite direction. Good thing I was really slow (narrow streets forces a car to do that) that only the scooter's handlebars connected to my side mirror. I didn't see the owner though. I hope he wasn't pissed.

For years, the reasons I put off re-learning driving are as follows: traffic is bad, the drivers are bad, the roads are bad, and the gas prices are bad. I can use the two-hour traffic during morning rush to sleep on a bus, rather than risk a leg cramp pressing on the (clutch and) brakes. Drivers blow their horns rather than slow down. Fares are cheaper than a liter of gasoline. These cons have all been proven true in the last ten days, unfortunately. But on the last two Thursdays, when I couldn't drive the car unless I wanted to wake up at 5AM, I finally understood the... benefits. I can sing Mariah songs at the top of my lungs for crying out loud. :)

I think I'll do better in the coming days (although last night I played patintero with another car while doing a U-turn). I still drive slow, and ironically I can't go out on gimiks that much now because mother insists I go home as early as possible for her health and sanity's sake.

But hey, at least I know how to cut into a lane.

(Yeah, I think I'm learning the wrong things.)

maximum overdrive redux

Fun fact: when Honda City was first introduced in 1997, I swore that it was my dream car and I will start saving money for it. It must be because of that catchy jingle/song that played in TVCs and radio stations.

I was in high school then, and I started saving 500 pesos from my weekly allowance. Mother will match what I saved and she'll deposit the cash in a savings account under my name (that was also my first savings account). Then I kinda grew up and got introduced to many different addictions, boyband stalking during my college years being one of them...

It took me more than a decade (and at least three years since I last brought the issue up) but here it is: I finally got myself a car. Whew.

It's not brand new as I had initially hoped, but I think we got a great deal for it: bro-in-law's sister decided to buy herself a new one after nine years, so we purchased it at trade-in value. Not bad, considering what the price range is in the market via a quick Google search. :)

So the next step for me is to re-learn what I learned seven years ago. I did a test drive within our neighborhood and apparently I don't have a sense of road etiquette (that was according to bro-in-law; well, at least that was implied). Good thing the car has automatic transmission. Kinda girly (duh), but clutch-less driving is one less thing to worry about.

Also: how to pay for it?