Wednesday, October 22, 2008

high school: whimsical

Peter held his own despedida party last Saturday -- kinda the same thing he did five years ago when he went to the States for, if my memory serves me correct, further studies. He's going back there now, this time to explore career opportunities. The event predictably became a reunion of sorts, with people I haven't seen since that last party (Patrick going as far as college days) showing up and doing catch-up. A gaggle of gay guys is bound to have lots of chismis -- and not just within that inner circle and beyond the usual updates on work/love/sex lives.

For instance: who in our batch is now gay (there were three -- one which actually made my life a living hell then... screw him)? Which of our teachers have died (about three from the last count as well)? Which of our high school crushes are still crush-able (mine is now down to just one PN -- The Prophet is still chubby pocket BF as ever, while The Phoenician just... ballooned)?

This will sound cliche but it never fails to amaze me how much people and things have changed in the last almost-decade. Then again, part of the reason for such amazement was my own pseudo-detachment -- intentional or not -- from these very people and things. I have gotten the usual updates from one or two people on several different occasions after high school (and college, given that several of us attended the same university). But apart from those... nothing much. In a sense, I've moved on. Like I said to Patrick that night, even if I do see/meet some old batchmates on my way to work, there's no reaction (or any form of recognition) from either parties. Yes, I'm an antisocial bitch.

Hey, high school was never really a walk in the part for me. Sure, I got good grades, but as if that it mattered in the social strata inside the campus. Besides, look at it this way: it was a time of confusion, of self-discovery. Of mixed emotions.

I could say that some of these experiences made me stronger. Then again, I could also surmise that some irrepairably screwed up my life. HAHAHAHA! Whatever the case, they made me who I am so... *shrugs*

In fairness, the pseudo-detachment (and the resulting continuous amazement) also reminds me of the small joys then (see: this log picture in our CAT bivouac) and the big successes I and the rest have accumulated over the years. We have changed. And I'm glad that for the most part, the change's for the better.
Otherwise, we won't be trying to upstage one another: who's now a doctor and who's now/waiting to be a lawyer? Whose salary is higher? Hopefully mine... :P.

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